“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” – Winston Churchill.
We all know being a manager isn’t all about strategizing business plans or running numbers. It’s also about the art of conversation – specifically, mastering those tough, sometimes sweaty-palm-inducing difficult conversations with employees. Conversations are at the heart of human connection, but certain conversations can be difficult, leaving us feeling uneasy and nervous. Difficult conversations are a part of life, and they are necessary for growth and development in the workplace. In this blog, we will talk about the art of having difficult conversations with employees, offering you with useful ideas, practical tips, and real-life examples. Let’s get started and see how these talks can lead to personal and professional growth.
Having Difficult Conversations with Employees: Role Play Script:
To illustrate how a difficult conversation can unfold, let’s dive into a role play script between a manager and an employee.
Consider the following scenario: You’re a manager tasked with dealing with a persistent problem with an employee’s timeliness. Let’s role-play a conversation that could help resolve the matter constructively:
M(Manager): [Approaches employee] Hello, Sarah. Can we talk for a moment? I’ve observed that you’ve been arriving a bit late to work recently.
E(Employee): [Defensively] There’s a lot going on at home, and traffic has been terrible.
M:I understand that life can be difficult at times. We appreciate your contributions and we want to help you succeed. Punctuality is crucial for team productivity. Is there anything we can do to support you during this time?
E:[Appreciative] Thank you for understanding. Maybe I could explore a flexible schedule or work from home on days when traffic is at its worst?
M:That sounds like a reasonable solution. Let’s give it a try for a few weeks and see how it goes. Remember, open communication is key, and we’re here to assist you whenever needed.
The purpose of this conversation isn’t to accuse but to open a dialogue and find a solution together. Difficult conversations might be difficult, but they are necessary for both professional and personal growth. We create possibilities for positive change by addressing them with empathy, actively listening, and seeking understanding. Uncomfortable conversations have the capacity to develop relationships, enhance productivity, and foster an open communication and a culture of trust.
Real-Life Examples of Difficult Conversations:
Let’s explore a few real-life examples of difficult conversations with employees, highlighting the lessons learned and the positive outcomes achieved:
•Bridging the communication gap: A team leader recognised that her team was having problems as a result of miscommunication. The team was able to resolve their difficulties, improve teamwork, and improve overall performance by organising an open forum, encouraging honest communication, and fostering active listening.
•Discussion about performance improvement: A manager had to address a team member’s poor performance. By providing constructive feedback, outlining clear expectations, and offering guidance, the employee was able to develop new skills, leading to significant improvement and increased job satisfaction.
In any difficult conversation, it’s not about winning or losing, but about finding a common understanding.
Difficult conversation quotes that may help you:
There is a wealth of wisdom out there on navigating these tricky terrains. My personal favourite quote around navigating conversations comes from the inimitable author and speaker, Brené Brown, who said, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” This quote serves as a compass during difficult conversations. Being transparent might be challenging, but it’s also the most compassionate way to lead.
We’ve all been in situations where these dialogues felt like walking on a tightrope. There was this one time when I had to address unnecessary long breaks taken by an incredibly talented employee. I struggled with fear – fear of confrontation, fear of coming off as an oppressor, and fear of losing a valuable team member. Then I remembered the golden rule: clear is kind. I initiated an open dialogue, not only addressing the issue but also empathizing with any problems they might be facing. The outcome? Better time-management and strengthened mutual respect.
Inspiring Quotes on Difficult Conversations:
“Difficult conversations are almost never about getting the facts right.They are about conflicting perceptions, interpretations, and values.” ― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
“Working to keep negative information out during a difficult conversation is like trying to swim without getting wet.” ― Douglas Stone, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Difficult Conversation Books:
So, where does one learn how to manoeuvre these tense interactions? Sure, Google has a galaxy of quick-fix tips, but there’s gold to be mined from some classic difficult conversation books. Take “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen. This gem not just provides insightful info, but also compelling narratives exhibiting how difficult conversations can turn into powerful, life-altering dialogues.
If you’re looking for additional guidance on navigating difficult conversations, there are several excellent books available. Some highly recommended titles include:
•”Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High” by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler.
•Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life” by Marshall B. Rosenberg.
These books provide practical frameworks, techniques, and strategies to help you navigate challenging discussions effectively.
Final Thoughts:
Difficult conversations are never a joyride. As William Shakespeare says, “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” Being authentic, transparent, and respectful can make these daunting conversations gateways to personal growth and stronger relationships with your team. Respect is crucial in every relationship, especially at the workplace. Peaceful conflict resolution resulting from difficult conversation forms another pillar of respect. Your willingness to participate in these discussions demonstrates your dedication to growing as an individual, strengthening connections, and creating a better environment for everyone involved.
So, have those difficult discussions, hit those rough patches, and watch as you cultivate a workplace where understanding and empathy are as important as numbers and strategy. After all, in the grand mosaic of management, isn’t that what leads to the most vibrant patterns of success?
Finally, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker